it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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