I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
