I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
