:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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