If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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