I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
