You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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