I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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