Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Randomize
