morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize