I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
