I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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