My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
