Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize