Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
