i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
