i love accidental penises.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
