i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
