you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
