I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
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