Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he was CRYING into my vagina
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
