I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
