she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
