hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
