I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
