Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
