I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Randomize
