just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I can feel your judgement through the phone
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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