yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
you didnt know i had herpes?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I had to cum in my sink.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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