i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize