Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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