Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
