Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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