cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
