if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
