im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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