you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
