and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
