Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
