I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
