i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
