This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
