She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
