Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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