I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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