No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize