Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
