Whatcha textin bout Willis?
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
