I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
