porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
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