I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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