If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
