I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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