Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize