Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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