FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize