well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize