You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
