Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
