this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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